27th April, 2008
Question
I'm in my late '50's and last year went to the dentist who said I'd have to have all my top teeth removed as I had gum disease. I'm now wearing a full denture on top which I absolutely hate.
I've reared a large family and never had much money to spend on myself. But I made enquiries and could have some tooth implants done abroad for around 9,000 euros. I could get a Credit Union loan and pay it back over a couple of years. Do you think I'd be mad to do it? I know my husband would - think I'm mad I mean - but he's a bit tight anyway. If I went ahead with my plan I wouldn't tell him until the last minute, so he couldn't stop me.
I've lost confidence since I got these dentures and worry about them flying out of my mouth. Imagine if I was in a car crash! I look good for my age, and I really think it would give me a new lease of life and the confidence to face old age. What do you think? And to everyone out there, look after your teeth.
For someone like me, 9000 euros is a lot of money and I'm afraid I'll regret it. But I think I'm worth it, as the advert says.
Answer
Go for it. I know nothing of tooth implants, I mean in a professional sense. But I'm sure you've done your homework, checked this dentist out, talked to others who've availed of the service, sussed out modern dentists here, weighed up your options. That's not what you're asking me about. You're not appealing to me for dental expertise. You're asking me if you should take a bold and life-affirming step and I'm saying yes you should, whatever dentist you decide on.
One of the scourges of poverty - and I mean the penny-pinching variety - is that it makes cowards of us all. Having to always watch where money goes, shuts down our impetuousness. It stops us taking chances. It confines the spirit.
One of the many important lessons I learned from my old friend Eoghan Harris was not about politics, but about the need to celebrate. It was the time before the Celtic Tiger, money was tight, it was coming up to Christmas, and the media were preaching financial prudence. Eoghan dissented.
He argued instead that celebration is sustenance for the spirit, and essential to true survival, pointing out that almost everyone had an element of disposable income, however tiny, or credit that could be had, however modest. So although Brown Thomas's might be a no-go area, and there could be no big presents for the kids, there was still Hector Grey's, that precursor of the pound shops now sadly gone, with its cheap decorations, trinkets, silly treats, sparkle, shiny paper, small surprises, endless stocking fillers. He was not preaching fecklessness. Nor am I, when I tell you to go for it.
Courage is like a muscle. You have to exercise it regularly to keep it strong. And you've been doing that all your life. You and your husband made it happen for your children by working hard and watching those pennies. In getting your teeth done, you're just changing the exercise. It's still saying yes to life.
I only have one thought about it all. Wouldn't it be nice to give your husband the chance to celebrate too? It's your beauty, and energy and determination we're talking about here. And he's shared that with you all your married life. Could you muster the confidence to let him share this too? I know you're wary of telling him because you're not confident enough in yourself. Could you collect that self-confidence? Wouldn't that be the icing on the cake? Worth a chance?
