Question
I am at my wits' end. I studied very hard, did a PhD, and ended up in this job that should be ideal for me. However I cannot cope with the levels of stress I am experiencing. I feel overwhelmed, am losing sleep, not eating, and constantly down. I felt this way from the beginning, before I actually started the job. I've now given it a year, and still feel the same. There are some aspects of the job I don't like, but I cannot pinpoint any single large contributory factor that would make me feel this way. My gut tells me this job is just not for me, but leaving for no specific reason, in these economic times, could devastate my career and leave me in financial ruin. My doctor has prescribed anti-anxiety medication, but I know this is not a long-term solution. I need help but am at a loss about where to turn.
Answer
Stress has become a very confusing concept. Let's try and disentangle it a little.
Your distress could be caused by unrealistic expectations. You see I'm not sure there's an 'ideal' job for anyone. Not in the sense of perfect anyway. At best, we find a job where by and large the downside is manageable. Think about acting. It may be all you really want to do. But you'll die of distress if you can't handle financial uncertainty, rejection at auditions, and the daunting demand to perform, no matter what. It takes a particular kind of personality to survive all that. So maybe you presumed it would be all plain sailing - pleasant sailing - and discovered before you even started that your Ph was buying you a lot of hassle along with the rewards. Disappointment can do your head in unless you readjust.
Or maybe you missed the larger picture. University studies very often have precious little to do with the actual job you end up doing. Even if you're looking down a microscope all day spotting whatever it was you were trained to spot, there's still the bureaucracy, the jostling for position, the cliques, the bitchy canteen chatter, the professional competition, the need to keep clients happy, the sheer intellectual aridness which comes with so many careers. In that scenario you have to learn a whole new set of skills which are entirely separate from your chosen speciality. It's the context in other words, rather than the essential job content.
I doubt, too, if job satisfaction is handed to us on a platter. Certainly self-fulfilment through a chosen career is an iffy notion. Jobs bring us money, a certain level of status maybe, some measure of independence. Those things, in themselves, are rewards. Joy, or a sense of destiny, or vocational certainty are something else entirely, come free gratis and for nothing only to the lucky few. The rest of us have to create our own happiness on the job. We don't fall into the perfect place. We make it work for us.
Then there are square pegs in round holes. Your chosen speciality may have excited you intellectually. That doesn't necessarily mean that the resulting job opportunities are a real option for you. You could love maths but dislike the notion of teaching or becoming an actuary. Like I said, there's a huge gap between studying and applying our knowledge in the workplace.
Finally, happiness is never handed to us. It's something we create.
Life coaches abound, and in broad terms deal with issues like yours. Check some out, and find one that suits you.
