Question
This might be a common tale. I met a girl in secondary school when she was dating someone I knew else. That was two years ago and we're pretty good friends. Since then she's been with another guy, this time a really good friend of mine. But they recently split up. I would like to tell her how I think of her as more than a friend. The tricky part is that I'm not sure how my friend would feel. So I've two problems. I'm afraid to tell my friend, because I don't want to lose him. And I'm wondering is it worth risking my friendship with this girl by telling her how I feel. I'm not even sure if it would work out anyway, since we've now started in separate colleges.
Answer
You won't lose your friend if you're up-front and honest. And if he was really upset at you asking his ex-girlfriend out, then maybe it would make sense to back off - at least for a while. As for the girl, well there's always the risk that a friendship may become awkward when love is declared. But real friends get through this too.
So much for answering your direct questions. My real impression, however, is that you're not exactly passionate about this girl. You're not dying with the desire to be romantically close. You're not even sure if the relationship would survive separate colleges. You're not in real despair. And maybe that's your answer. Why rock any boats, when your interest in a romantic involvement seems to be so tentative? Or is this just an attempt at being Mr Cool?
